About The Shantar Religion
Due to the ever-increasing demand for information on the rapidly growing Shantar Religion, we have decided to put our information on the web, and go global.
Who Are We?
We are Shantar Monks, who Pray Without Ceasing for the Subjugation of Women, World Domination, and Peace For All Cockroaches (among other things). We are also Keepers of the Holy Names; and are responsible for the Holy List of Names By Which Women May Be Addressed. This is updated whenever we are touched by the spirit to add to the list or if a devotee has submitted a suggestion which our monks have approved.
What is Shantar?
Shantarians believe that white people are an evil, bleached and bloated blight* and all women are seductive temptresses that need to be hidden behind voluminous robes and be given Shantarian names such as Mabel, Bertha, and Walla Walla Washington. We also believe that ultimately all women should be exiled to the Heilongjiang Province of China.
Because we worship the great Cockroach God (Arisixeti: He Who Eats That Which We Cannot), cockroaches are our sacred creature. It is our fondest hope that we will soon overtake all the governments of the world, in order to put all exterminators out of business. Once we achieve World Domination, anyone caught killing a cockroach will be put in the stocks and pelted with rotten vegetables, according to the Shantar Faith.
Look Around!
Feel free to click on our links and learn more about us.
* "But thou, oh people that art as white as the belly of a beached whale, thou art cursed. Unless thou wilt choose to convert to the one true Shantar faith, thy sufferings will be as infinite as a generation of cockroaches. If thou converts, oh white reprobate, thou wilt achieve much, and will only be slightly lower than a believer of brown skin." Stanza 9:45 of Thus Arisixeti Spoke


13 Comments:
We cater to those who cannot pick up after themselves. We want to provide you a service to get rid of those nasty dirty and disease infested cockroaches. We are proud white women who basically rule the world. We don't hide under anything---- but we boss our men around---because who else is gonna change the oil? Buy us diamonds and lavish us with a nice Mercedes? That's what men are good for, no?
We praise the bar of soap. Ah, the antibacterial soap that gets us and the whole house clean!
We will exerminate these ugly roaches for only $49.99.
But wait! That's not all!
You also get a bottle of Raid---FREE of charge!!!
Call within the next 20 seconds and we'll even throw some Lysol, to disinfect your entire house!
1-800-GET-CLEAN
or call
1-800-CALL-JESUS
Mastercard and visa are accepted. No CODs please.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006 1:27:00 PM
Exterminator, I have great pity and a warning for you: Beware, for your very soul hangs in the balance! As the Great God Arisixeti once said,
"And lo, the proud white women are an abomination to Arisixeti, The Great. For they minimize the perfection of the males, and denigrate their fragrant underthings and other frequent leavings. Yea, they will perish if they are not subjugated." - Stanza 69:25 of Thus Arisixeti Spoke
Besides, as we of the Shantar Faith have known (from the revelations of the Great God Arisixeti) that Jesus was merely a nice guy. You really need to come to grips with that.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006 5:40:00 PM
Too crazy :)
Get these snakes off my plane
Wednesday, April 05, 2006 10:30:00 PM
Ahh Alex, from what I have seen, you are equally crazy. Joinnnnnn usssssss...
Friday, April 07, 2006 3:45:00 PM
How has the shantar been doing?
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 7:33:00 PM
Fucking sweet!
Thursday, July 27, 2006 12:25:00 AM
ButchieBoy, yea, verily.
Alex, We have been very well. We continue to pray without ceasing for the subjugation of women. We have recently commissioned a bronze statue of Arisixeti which will adorn the worship hall in our main temple. Therefore, we have been very busy of late, collecting old bronze lamps from Salvation Army and copper cooking pots.
Saturday, August 26, 2006 3:47:00 PM
Okay, I give in.
Friday, September 01, 2006 7:45:00 AM
Uncle Joe, of course you do. Only a fool rejects the Great God Arisixeti. What are you planning on renaming your females? Has the Great God Arisixeti led you to suggest any names to add to our Holy List?
Friday, September 01, 2006 11:28:00 AM
Burt Reynolds came to me in a vision and commanded me to name my wife either Loni or Deliverance. Having not two wives I am in a quandry..
Does Arisixeti sometimes take on the form of my idol Burt?
ps. Sometimes I also hear voices that sound like the snake in The Jungle Book hisssssssing me to sleep...yesssssssssssssssss
pss. Word verification is: Ivy Nunz. Is this a sign only for me?
Monday, September 04, 2006 7:19:00 PM
The Shantar religion is VERY slow on updates.....
Uncle Joe, the solution is easy, rename your wife "Dan August", problem solved
Tuesday, September 05, 2006 2:28:00 PM
My apologies, Uncle Joe and Mal (who will henceforth be named Mal-Bertha). Although reports are that Loni has called Burt a cockroach, he is definately not channeling Arisixeti, who would not recommend Loni OR Deliverance. He might recommend "Saucy Goat", however. Pray on it, and let us know.
Monday, October 09, 2006 6:48:00 PM
Sorry I haven't been able to respond.
I forgot to pray on it and called my wife "Saucy Goat" like you suggested.
She threw a saucer of goat cheese at me and I just came out of the coma.
What was I talking about?
Friday, December 08, 2006 2:25:00 PM
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